Matriarch

That’s who she is, simple yet so complex. I sat there watching her , really seeing her. Held her hands and they felt cold no longer warm to the touch. I looked at her eyes, as if I was looking into the ocean herself. Her hair full of gray, her skin full of wrinkles, of struggles, of hardships and of victories. She is ninety three whole years now, she is making it known to all of us that she won’t be here for long. She is medicina, to all her grandkids and her kids. She has the connection to the plants.

The way she loves them and speakings to them is medicina, she is grateful for them and for the healing they give us. It was like poetry watching her water the plants. “Mija, esta siempre te va ayudar con el estómago siempre cuidala,” so much knowledge to be hold. She is my roots, she holds the knowledge. I am grateful for what she has given me.

She sat me down and looked in in the eyes to tell me her proudest moment was her bringing me here. You see she is responsible for taking her daughter and her three kids at the time into the US. My mom was content she didn’t see the need to move specially with her small kids. But being the fire that she is, she saw the struggle we would face, she had lived it and refused to see us grow up in need. She packed our bags and grabbed my little five year old hand and said we are leaving. My mom was reluctant and forced into a whole new country. She was pivotal for us. I can’t even fathom who we would be or what situations we would be in without her stubborn need to bring his here with her.

She sacrificed her home her wanting to be in a country she loved because her kids would be better here. She is stubborn, she is a force to be reckoned with and she is my grandmother.

 

Her name is Virginia Velasquez Rodriguez and she is my whole heart. Death is a part of life and as much as I understand that we are never really ready to see anyone leave this physicality. She is tired and worn out. She is ready to no longer be here she makes that well known. Everytime I see her she always gives me her bendicion. The power in her words are felt, the ancestors behind her are felt, the love those words carry is remarkable.

She is currently holding the family together, a small thread being held in place by her presence. Not sure how the cards will fall when she is gone, but they will fall but no one can replace her as much as they feel the need to or think they can. She was a force unlike anyone else, we must learn to be without envy. She didn’t raise us like this but here we are,her kids wanting to be leaders of the clan. A leader just is, she was forced into blossoming into a warrior.

Her life was never easy, a husband who was murdered a mother who created more problems for her, left to raise eight kids on her own. Not sure how she did it but she did. I come from strong women.

 

I will not be brought down by circumstances or problems because I rise with her in my heart. With her knowledge, with her wisdom. I am her, she is me.

 

Mi Vicki la quiero con todo mi corazon, yo se que cuando no esté en cuerpo estará aquí en todo especialmente con las flores. Gracias por traernos aquí por enseñarme la medicina y por todas sus pláticas y las historias de nuestras raíces.

 

  • Z

 

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