I will be thirty one this November.
Well life happens we grown and get old. I just don’t feel it.
I have always been told that I am mature for my age, in ways I did feel ahead of my time. But sitting here thinking thirty one, but when did I get here?
My twenties were indeed a roller coaster ride. I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted shit I didn’t know what I needed. I was still incased in this bubble, protected from the outside world and I didn’t want to leave.
Life’s turns drastically changed that. At twenty six I found myself out of that safety bubble, broken, hurt, and unsure of what would come next. All I felt was alone, there was this emptiness and this sorrow I didn’t know how to fill or make it go away.
The one person who for those years made me feel safe and secure was gone. Now I was left to figure it out. To face my fears, my crutch was gone. Just like that.
I didn’t want to. But I did.
I was left broken, and unsure, but I rise. I am able to endure a lot and somehow I keep going.
It took me four years. But I did it. I healed; I faced rooted issues within myself. It wasn’t easy, it was painful, it was chaos, it was putting the puzzles together of things to make them fit and heal.
My twenties thought me lessons. It gave me new perspectives; it propelled my growth in ways that I didn’t think where possible. For the first time I put myself first. It took some drastic life challenges for me to get to the point where I focused on me.
The late part of my twenties allowed me to really figure me out. Be selfish and explore my wants and needs. I am grateful for that. I know who I am more now, then I did back then. I have come into my own, but there is still so much to explore.
We constantly change and grow. I am open to new experiences these next few years.
May my dirty thirties be magical, may I learn and grow, and may my glow up be even more magnificent.
May I accomplish what I set out to do, am grateful for another year in this planet.
Life is magical, open your eyes and see it for what it really is.